Catchphrase

I know, I know...two posts in a week. Guess since my birthday sharin' sister-in-law Robin is posting a blog, I might as well keep up some with mine. Don't want her to think that just because she gets to share in a day of awesomeness, that is my birthday, that she can completely steal everything from me.

Anywho...

Since my life has always been ruled by women...first my mom, then my friends, now my wife (and the plethora of women there are in her family)....I thought I'd talk about words and phrases.

See, one thing I've learned over the years is that nothing gets a women madder than when you say something you've been told not to say.

For instance, my mom hated the specific words/phrases "S*^K" and "Shut Up." I have some friends that cannot stand the word "biscuit" and another word that I won't post (it isn't bad, but draws the allusion of bad).

Now, this isn't to say that someone like my mom didn't like the really bad words or phrases, but those two I listed were completely, wash your mouth out with soap type bad. (Trust me - I can take the Pepsi challenge with flavors of soap)

Needless to say, you'd think all those years of being careful with my words around the ladies would have prepared me for marriage. Not so.

When Mrs. McGoo and I went through pre-marriage counseling, she told me there was one word that she asked that I never say. The word? "Nag"

She hated that word. I still don't really remember why though. It was probably because she told me that while we were watching a basketball game and it just never registered. Anyway, that's besides the point. Off-limits to use the word "Nag"...ok, GOT IT. But what if I said, you're being Naggy? Nah..not a good idea.

So that was the ONE word that she'd ask me not to say. Problem is, the longer our marriage has gone, the more words/phrases she's found to eliminate from my lingual repertoire. Now, I've have a laundry list of things I can't say.

"Mother-hen" - Not Allowed
"It's not THAT bad" - Banned
"I'm just sayin" - Grounded
"Hall Pass" - Brain Melted with Heat Vision
"Get it yourself" - Outlawed
"Heck yeah it makes you look fat" - Separated

Ok. So the last two we're ones that have ever been said, but I just threw them in to make it look better.

I'd write up there the context of how they are used and why they are bad, but I'm already at risk for just posting this. So you'll just have to trust me. If she so wishes to come on and post a comment and explain, I'll let her do so.

So if you're keeping count, we're basically on a loss of a word/phrase a year. No wonder so many men are so quiet at the end of their lives. Their words have been taken from them.

So for all you men out there....What are some key words or phrases you are banished from saying? Any advice?

It's not that bad is it?