SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP

I'm a music lover. Anyone that knows me or has seen my music collection at home can tell you that. I love the heart and soul that goes into making music. I wish I was musically inclined, but I'm not. If anything, I would make a great game show contestant or if I was lucky, a producer. However, give me a song to sing or an instrument to play and it would be a nightmare.

That being said, I love attending concerts. I take pride in that I've been to about every concert that I've ever wanted to see. Pink Floyd, U2, Rolling Stones, Oasis, Dave Matthews Band (around 20 times), Coldplay, Keith Urban, Willie Nelson, Ryan Adams, and many more. This past Friday night, my buddy Jeff called me to let me know that he had an extra ticket for John Mayer and wanted to know if I wanted to attend. I said yes and we headed down town for some dinner before and then went to the show. Once we found our seats we sat back and enjoyed what turned out to be a good show and an interesting evening.

Michael Franti opened the show and having never heard him, I was quickly drawn to his sound. He has a unique sound of reggae, funk, and singer-songwriter that makes for a great live show. He really did a great job of engaging the crowd and on more than one occasion, made his way into the crowd. Here's a clip I took of his while he was near us...



We then had two girls come down and sit next to us that were about 24 or so and were completely wasted. One girl had someone spill a beer on her and the gentleman that I am, I went and got some napkins for her to clean herself off. Apparently that was an invitation to start up a conversation as the two girls began speaking to Jeff and I. The one sitting next to me was very nice and well spoken (about as well spoken as one can be when you're plastered). The one sitting next to her friend enjoyed talking about herself and her modeling career. The act got a little old as did the girl sitting next to me when she continually fell on me time after time of drunk dancing. About the time that Mayer came on, Jeff got a text from a mutual friend of ours who told us they were at the show, close to the stage, and there were some empty seats. So, not wanting to deal with drunk chicks anymore, we headed that way.

Once we made it over to the seats, we stood and watched the show for a bit. About 5 mins or so after getting there, I feel someone slap me on the back. To which I turn around and there is a lady (prob in her 40's or 50's) sitting down with a nasty look on her face. She tells me, "Sit down", to which I reply "No." This answer apparently didn't set well with her and she told me again to sit down and again I told her no. She then asked me if I had a ticket, to which I told her I did and she asked to see it. Naturally I told her no and she grew angry. She told me, "Listen, you don't want to mess with me", to which I replied, "What are you doing to do? You aren't the boss around her and I don't have to sit down, so mind your own business."

Now let me say this...
I do not like conflict unless I'm the one starting it. So I don't like the fact that we've had this argument and for the next few moments, start to feel kind of bad about it. But then I realize that EVERYONE else is standing and having a good time, so why should I let this lady ruin a night for me.

My buddy Jeff heard the whole thing, so we talked about it for a few minutes and then got back to watching the show. About 15-20 minutes later Jeff looked at me and said, "dude, she's getting security on you." Whaaa?!?! Seriously? Because I wouldn't sit down, she is going to get security? Ok. Two can play at this game. I quickly asked Jeff to get our friends ticket stubs and hold on to them for a bit and a little while later, I felt someone grab me by the arm and tell me to come with them. So I looked at him with an innocent look and said, "What is going on?" He looked right back and said to follow him. So we walked up the stairs to the lobby area where the lady was standing and had this devilish grin on her face as to say, "I got you!!"

When I get to the lobby there are about 8 security guards standing around piercing holes through me. The security guard asks me for my ticket and I point to Jeff and he hands them over. He looks through them and says out loud, "yeah, these are their seats." Now, I would have given anything in the world to have a camera take a picture of this lady's face when he said that. She knew for a fact we didn't have seats there, yet we produced tickets that proved we did. So she completely goes into crazy mode. She starts accusing me of calling her a bitch and tells me that I'm not going to talk like that to her around her daughter. To which I replied that I never said that and that she needs to have her ears checked. (this didn't go over well with her)

About this time the really large security guard tells both of us to be quiet. He looks at both of us and says, "Look, there are two things we need to address here. One. Lady, you can't tell him to sit down at a concert. Two. Sir, you can't call her a bitch."

Hmmm....
Here's the response I had ready for this in my head.
"Sir, I did not call this lady a bitch....not a big one, or a little one. Just because someone acts like a bitch doesn't mean she is a bitch. Therefore, I did not call her a bitch."

That was what I wanted to say...

This is what I did say.
"Sir, I didn't call her a bi...(security guard interrupts me) "Sir, YOU CANNOT CALL HER A BITCH."

"Ok." (My reply)

He continued that we had both paid good money for these tickets and we should enjoy the show. To which I told them both that I WAS enjoying the show until she ruined it and decided to be sassy and bossy. I gave her a wink and walked off.

So the moral of the story is...

Honestly, I don't know...just watch your mouth when you're talking to people because apparently they hear things that aren't really said.