SEC Semifinals: UK vs UT

Today is the rubber match between my beloved Wildcats and the Vols from Tennessee.

Let me say this...I HATE UT. No seriously, I really cannot stand that university. I have a couple of very good friends that are UT fans and they can tell you as well...I can't stand UT. Louisville I really can't stand either, but I'm not around them nearly as much being that I live in Memphis. Not to mention UK and UT actually have a rivalry, which can't be said about 'little brother' (Louisville)

Here are a few reasons I hate UT:

(1) Pat Summitt — Let me start off by acknowledging that this dude can coach. He is a great recruiter and any man that wins that many national championships should have his jock enshrined. I wonder what his wife thinks about him hanging out with college girls all year. I don't know about you, but I think something might be going on between Pat and his players. You know sexually. That shouldn’t happen.

(2) Phil Fulmer — This man is the greatest parole officer any felon could have. He gets you out of trouble, lets you play football and then even if someone makes him kick you off the team because you raped, killed or pillaged. Phil is fat and not liked in Alabama because he is a snitch and we all know what happens to snitches. (don’t you guys listen to rap music?)

(3) Bruce Pearl — Yes he reminds me of Howard Dean. “We’re gonna go to Kentucky, Florida, Mississippi and then Alabama… AARGH!!!!” He is the slimy used car salesman wearing the ugly orange blazer and when he is not constantly annoying you about something, he is fake baking at the tanning salon. That dude’s skin would make some sweet orange leather boots. And no need for orange dye for those boots by the way.

(4) Neyland Stadium — That place is huge, Tiny E. It is also the worst place in the conference to watch a game. The atmosphere is great, there are a lot of people, but guess what? It's horrible actually watch a game there and at some point all those people have to go to the bathroom at some point. My friend went to the bathroom there and came out with three STD’s and he didn't even sit down. The smell permeates through all the tunnels and concourse. It looks like Alcatraz inside and should be shut down.

(5) God Awful Orange and Rocky Top — Rocky Top is not even a fight song, it has nothing to do with the University of Tennessee. If you hear it once during a game, you will hear it 10,000 times. It is the most annoying thing ever. Have you ever thought about the words to that song? Simply amazing. And now onto the worst color ever. Orange. We all know the old joke. “Why do Tennessee fans wear orange? So they can go hunting on Friday night, the game on Saturday and do their prison road-work detail on Sunday.” Yeah, well, bile vomit looks the same.

There you have it. Reasons in less than 5 minutes that I hate UT. I could think of more, but I really don't want to be in a bad mood when the game starts.

Go Cats!