So I've been up since 4am. Can't sleep really. All this stuff that is happening around me is really affecting me more than I can comprehend. My mind can't rest right now. I keep thinking of ideas and projects I need to do. I think of ways I can work with these kids. Heather and I were talking about how we're probably making Joe's (Our fearless leader) head spin with ideas we have. So what to do with all my time. Time is short here, so maybe God is telling me that sleep is not as important right now. I don't know...just processing.
Saw a really cool thing today. One of the boys, "Nati" (I believe that is how you pronounce or say it) is one of the smallest in the center. But he's got to be one of the cutest. I watched him fall asleep on Liz today. Just laying right in her lap zonked out. I took a couple of pictures of him while he was sleeping so I'll have to post the picture of it when I get a chance (Can't right now, will explain in a bit). But I couldn't help but think, here's a boy that is possibly doesn't have his parents with him and all he would want in some settings is just to have someone there to hold him while he sleeps. It was a fragile moment and while I didn't admit it to the group, it really nearly brought me to tears. He seemed so at peace. The symbolism to how I want these boys to be with their true Father. Just craw up in his lap and let him hold them and keep them safe. My prayer is that I can show them that it is possible. I know I need it right now as well. Just craw up and let him explain to me that this is all for a reason and it all has a purpose. Not that I'm questioning his plan, but just the assurance from my creator that all is well.
Maybe I should put in a request to borrow my wife's blog name, Verbal Vomit, because I feel that is what this blog is turning in to right now. Just my thoughts vomited on paper...cause I don't know that it makes any sense other than to me right now.
Couple of things of note...
1. I appreciate all the kind and encouraging words some of you have offered. Keep them coming. I love to read your comments. I wish I could read more...hint hint. ;)
2. For some reason, Blogger doesn't allow me to view my own blog here. Thus, I cannot comment back...or at least haven't figured it out yet. As you can tell, it does allow me to post, but for some reason, the main place where I can view my posts are blocked. I do get your comments, as they are emailed to me, so I do read them.
3. Likewise, it also won't let me put photos on here. I don't know why other than there is a blocker on it that won't allow it. I may try and go through an internet unblocker to see if that works.
Again, thanks for the prayers, support, and comments. I only hope that some of what I say makes sense and you get a small dose of what we are seeing here.
God Bless
6 comments:
Hey Kelly! I just stumbled on your blog anD have been reading a few of your posts. You write so well, makes me feel like I am experiencing it with you. I'm so glad that you are having such a great time, I know you will impact those children so much!
I also wanted to tell you, but it is probably too late now, that if you have an email address set up for your blog you can post to it through an email. You won't be able to edit it or anything but you could send a post that way. But you have to have access to blogger to set up the email address.
Hope you trip continues to go well and you stay safe!
Can definitely tell God is doing something big in you right now. Even if you can't fully comprehend what, you can tell this is a pivotal spiritual time for you. That is awesome! I am praying the Lord would continue to enlighten your understanding of how he wants you to apply what he's teaching you in Ethiopia. I hesitate to use the word "teaching" because it lacks the emotion I know you are experiencing. He is changing your heart right now for a purpose, and it will be exciting to see how the story continues to unfold over the years. Glad I have a front row seat ;)
What Kelly Levatino said AND did Joe ever tell you what God used to show Joe that he was destined for Ethiopia...a street kid fell asleep in his arms and as Joe cried for and prayed over him he knew he would never be the same. He described the experience much the same as you just did. I get all emotionally thinking of all the ways that God can & will use you and Ms McGoo to storm the gates on behalf of these kids that we love so much. It's been so fun for me in the states to watch you fall in love with them too!
I was telling Justin about your posts last night and how it's even more powerful to read this stuff from someone who isn't emotional. That just shows how much this trip is really impacting you. I wish you could bring a few of the kids home for us to pass around. :) I'm reading your thoughts, but can't imagine the things you're seeing and feeling. We were reading on the way to work this morning that Ethiopia has a lot of wildlife. We imagined you and Heather spotting a hyena or elephant just roaming around and got tickled. Keep the posts coming K.
Thanks so much for posting from Addis. Your thoughts make perfect sense to me, and I can see that God is at work in your heart. The story about "Nati" brought me to tears. I know that's an image that you will always carry with you. I'm praying for you guys, and again, thanks for posting!
I truly enjoy reading your post and witnessing how God is using you all to do his work! Know that we are praying for you to have the strength (and sleep) to reach these children and show them God's love!
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