Monday, January 11, 2010

Guy Code and Marriage Code

Have you ever heard someone use the term "Guy Code" and wondered what it meant? I've often been asked what "Guy Code" really is. The truth is, there isn't a real list for what it means, but it is something that all men are suppose to know. It is something that tells us what is allowed in conversations and what isn't. Additionally the code tells us what is acceptable to do and in some instances, what men should never do.

Generally "Guy Code" is not supposed to be talked about (Kind of like "Fight Club"), but because there are men out there that have not had someone tell them what the code is and what it is about, I'm going to list a few examples of the code.

Here are some of the examples of "Guy Code":

  • Bro's before Ho's - You stay true to your guy friends before you stay true to a girl. This is rule #1 in "Guy Code"
  • The Urinal/Toilet Etiquette. - Never go to a stall or urinal that someone is in unless it is unavoidable. If it is unavoidable, continue to look down at yours and there is to be no talking in restroom
  • Movie Seating - Same example as mentioned above
  • Avoid "Friendly Bonding" Situations - Examples...Two men in a bed at once (if bed must be shared no feet touching), two men riding motorcycles together (if you must jointly ride, men are not allowed to hold on - even if you fall), sharing a beverage together (if beverage is shared, no sharing straws), wearing similar cologne, sharing an umbrella
  • Wingman Protocal - If your buddy is showing an interest in a cute girl you must talk to her chatty and possibly unattractive friend to distract her from sabotaging your buddy's chances . (1 hour limit to said rule to give time for digits to be acquired)
  • Guy's Don't Tattle On Other Guys - This one is a tough one, but you have to recognize the code and realize that karma will catch up to the bad guys


Now, these are just some of the rules of "Guy Code" and there are many more. I feel like these are OK to mention and I won't be losing guy points by speaking about the code. However, there is an exception for "Guy Code."

See video for exception:


As mentioned in the video, "Marriage Code" and "Guy Code" intersect each other. Basically, the rules of "Guy Code" forbid me from telling anyone anything about my buddies except my wife. Why? As mentioned, "Marriage Code" intersects with "Guy Code" and I am allowed to spill the beans to my wife on the latest gossip that may be happening in someone's life. However, my wife is bound by "Marriage Code" which is paralleled to "Guy Code" in these instances and therefore cannot say anything to her girlfriends unless approved by husband who knows the rules of "Guy Code." It's rather easy to understand isn't it?

- So what is "Marriage Code" and what rules apply?
For the sake of the argument, I'll address "Marriage Code" from a mans perspective.

Here are a few rules in "Marriage Code":
  • Wife before Bro's - You stay true to your wife before your buddies. This is rule #1 in "Marriage Code" and trumps Rule #1 in "Guy Code"
  • Compliment Attire - No matter what, you tell your wife she looks beautiful and even when you don't think so, you lie. Acceptable responses to "Does this dress make me look fat?" are: "Of course not", "Nope, but it does make you look hot" (The one I prefer is "No way you are going out in that because I don't want to deal with all the men staring at you." **This covers me even if the dress looks bad on her**)
  • Right of Refusal - It's a great excuse for when you don't want to do something and it is an OK way to throw your spouse under the bus. For instance, this gives you the right to tell your buddies that you can't go to the game because your wife is making you mow the grass when in all actuality you're just too lazy to get off the couch and would rather watch the game on your big screen. Or you just don't want to go to dinner with that annoying couple that you are only friends with because of mutual friends and you tell them that your wife is feeling ill when really you just don't want to hear about the different types of color patterns the couple is looking at for their bedroom.
  • Always Asterisk - See below for explanation as this has recently been added to "Marriage Code"
The (*) has been recently added to "Marriage Code" by my friend Chuck. As he has put it, "this is your disclaimer you are given when you get married." I asked for his assistance in explaining this and here is his response:

"The (*) means that your friends should take your commitment with grain of salt.
For instance, 'I am in for hanging Friday night*' OR 'I am going on a ski trip by myself or with Jeff this year*'"
"In other words your permission slip has not yet been signed. Please see the attached permission slip and use for future planning."
Boys Night Out Permission Slip

"Any email with commitment and no (*) means you have gotten the hall pass from your wife or you are foolishly in jeopardy of being heavily razzed by your friends which means your permission slip was not signed.

Also, after removing your (*) and giving true commitment, it is expressly prohibited to ask any of the following questions with your significant other before you go out..
"Are you sure its ok?"
"Do you feel ok?"
"What you gonna do tonight or who are you hanging with?"

All are grounds for the termination of your permission slip and further razzing from your bros."

I'd like to send a special thank you to my bro Chuck for the new addition to "Marriage Code" because this one is an important one.

I hope this has helped everyone in understanding the rules that men must follow. Granted, these are only a few and "Guy Code" can vary from friend to friend. Additionally, "Marriage Code" most definitely will vary from one understanding spouse to one crazy spouse. However one constant remains the same...

Men will always live by a code.

www.mrmcgoo.blogspot.com

14 comments:

Kelly said...

Nice. I love the detail on the permission slip :)

Mr. McGoo said...

I've already printed out copies to give to Elian for guys night out.

Mrs. McGoo said...

You're hilarious.
I find myself just shaking my head and laughing... regularly!

Mr. McGoo said...

As long as you are shaking your head in laughter...

Mike Harder said...

Hilarious Kelly! I am glad I have my hall pass for this weekend. Too bad Rusty didnt read this before he set up plans for everyone and then backed out.

Elian said...

Wait...an hour as the wingman! That's just too long. If it takes an hour to get the number, your buddy isn't getting anywhere. I say 30 minutes. An hour with her friend as the wingman can lead said wingman never getting his shot at someone later in the night. Unless this is agreed upon beforehand, said rule time limit defaults to 30 minutes (see bro's before ho's). Secondly, a bed must never be shared. The floor is more comfortable than the awkwardness of the time it takes to go to sleep.

Plus you forgot a couple I would like to mention. Always make your buddy aware of the hot female passerby's. All of your buddy's female relatives are off limits (an extension of that is never to date your buddy's ex's).

Unknown said...

Marriage code can be violated on at least one instance. If a bro is sharing something of a "masculine personal nature" that would be potentially embarassing for bro if said wife was to hear at husbands discretion it can kept in the "male vault".

This is a dicey scenario b/c it's unlikely married bro will give single bro immunity before he shares his potentiall embarassing detail of a personal nature. Therefore there is risk involved.

The married male vault is extremely small. So proceed with caution as you pick and choose what you ask said married man to stow away for safe keeping.

Brittany Schwaigert said...

I am IN LOVE with that permission slip. I wish i had it before Ryan went to Vegas a few months ago!

Mr. McGoo said...

Elian...Yes, I think an hour is good. We're not dealing with guys like the ones in the Jersey Shore. Also, as I said, I only listed a few so to not make the blog really long. I might have to make a blog and generate a list.

Britt...I figured you already had one for Ryan.

UFrank said...

You forgot to mention the section of the guy code on cleaning house. It is okay to admit it as long as it has a great story, like I accidentally set the house on fire.

Larry McGugan said...

I too found myself laughing. This is good.

Elian said...

Hey, leave my guido brothers out of this! It's not my fault you non-italians don't have any game.

Unknown said...

I need to print out some copies of that permission slip for James :) Good stuff Kel... keep the life lessons coming.

Unknown said...

I'm confused about your second rule...Do you occasionally use the same urinal/toilet as someone else? Please refrain from entering the restroom when I am in there.